10 years later
by Bella Mason
Summary: takes place in middle of NM what if Edward hadn't come back? If Bella had gotten older, just as he wanted?And what if they meet again?
1. Chapter 1

BPoV

I prepared myself mentally for the upcoming day as I stepped out of my car and walked toward the school, my black stiletto boots clacked noisily against the pavement as I headed toward my classroom. It was Monday, casual clothes day for the teachers. I rolled my eyes just thinking about it. People in small towns obviously had nothing better to do than to designate what clothes could be worn when. Never the less, I liked my low-rider jeans, and my V-neck tee. I also enjoyed the power I had over the male students in my class on Mondays. I giggled.

As I unlocked the door and set my books and papers down on the desk, I saw that a note had been slipped under my door. I sighed as I bent to pick it up. We really had to get a teacher mailbox system. At least in Forks… I shook my head sharply, refusing to let my thoughts go there. Too late. The pain was gnawing a hole in my inside. I had to stay busy. I looked around frantically, trying to find a distraction. I breathed a sigh of relief as my students straggled in.

I relaxed as the room filled slowly. I realized I was clutching the note in my tightly clenched hand. I set the note down on my desk and smoothed it out.

_Ms. Swan,_

_We have some new students coming to our school today._

_Please try to make them feel welcome in their new surroundings._

_School Administration_

Who would transfer to a new school in February? Huh. I just hoped that they weren't from a city! I knew from experience that it was hard to adjust to a small town after living in a city. Although, admittedly, small-town life had grown on me. After Charlie's death, I couldn't bear being in Forks anymore. I packed up my stuff and moved. This was my third year teaching English at this high school. I chose to teach English due to my love of books. This was out surprisingly well. I was actually happy, something I thought would be impossible since **he** left.

No, Bella! Do NOT think about that!

I turned my attention back to my students. They knew me well enough to know that I was in la-la land, and that I would snap out of it soon enough. They used this time to gossip: the boys about my outfit, the girls about some new arrivals to the school. They were very excited. Apparently these new arrivals were quite good looking.

I turned from my desk to write the 'do now' on the blackboard. The chatter died down as they began to get their homework out. I smiled as I walked towards the large windows at the back of the room. It wasn't raining, but it was foggy, and looked like it would start raining quite soon.

I decided to enjoy it while it lasted. I opened the window and let the wet, unscented air wash away the smells of whatever they used to clean the floors in here. I took a deep breath as I let the air cleanse me as thoroughly as a shower might.

I walked carefully back to my desk. I wasn't as clumsy as I used to be, but you never know in stilettos. I rummaged through the papers covering my desk, in an attempt to find my grade book, when the door opened. I quickly glanced around the room, counting heads. No one was missing.

The new students! Of course! Duh! I felt like smacking my forehead as I straightened to greet them. Or was I only getting one of the new students? Grrr! I hate being confused, especially on Mondays!

As I looked up to see who was standing in the doorway, and I almost fainted from shock. Now I understood why the girls were so excited about the new students.

Relax, Bella. I took a deep breath and steadied myself against my desk. There is an explanation for this…karma maybe. Or was it just my bad luck? Oh! It's just a dream. Of course, I thought, it is just a dream. I pinched the skin on my arm very tightly, willing myself to wake up, but I didn't. Damn!

Maybe it was just someone who looks **exactly** like him, I thought hopefully, as the principal, Mrs. Webber, walked in behind him. "Class, I would like you all to meet Edward Cullen." Mrs. Webber introduced him. So much for **that** theory!

Maybe he wouldn't recognize me! There was a very slim chance that he wouldn't, but it wasn't impossible. I had changed my appearance a lot since almost 10 years ago. My once long, dark brown hair was now a light strawberry blonde color, reaching down to only my shoulders. Also (thank GOD for contacts), I wore dark blue contacts over my chocolate brown eyes. Even my figure had changed. I was more robust. My own mother had had a hard time recognized me! It would be hard for him to recognize me… unless he happened to **smell** me!

Unfortunately, there was no way of changing the way your blood smells. At least, not that I knew of. OK, Bella, think. Think, think, think.

The only way I thought of was just to not get close enough to Edward so that he could smell me. I was very thankful for the clean air that came in through the window, and that the schedules didn't print the first names of the teachers. If he saw Isabella Swan on his schedule, he would obviously know who I was.

I don't know why I was trying to avoid him. Ok, that's a lie. I knew I was trying not to get involved with him again. And, yet, I didn't want him to leave. I knew that if I told him who I was, he and his family would leave. That was why they left Forks anyway. Because Edward didn't…want me. But that was all in the past now!

I arranged my face to look like teacher-like, and gave a welcoming smile. As the principal walked out and closed the door, I pointed to an open seat, in the back, right by the windows, and said (as calmly as I could manage), "You can go sit there." My heart was pounding. I couldn't believe the effect Edward still had on me! I mean it's been like, 9 ½ years since he broke my heart (not that anyone's counting), and he was still **perfect**. With his light topaz eyes, perfect features, and breathtaking smile, he charmed everyone, including me. But I couldn't do this! No mooning over him, Bella! I would treat him as any other teacher would, one who was immune to his charm. It would be hard, but it couldn't possibly be as hard as getting on with my life had been.


	2. Chapter 2

EPoV

Great, another new town. Another new school. Another set of people at us all the time, and thinking about us. But, most importantly, another place where I could mourn being without Bella.

'Edward,' Alice called me to her thoughts. 'Stop thinking about her. Think of this as a new start. I looked at her, surprised that she could tell what I was thinking. 'It's written all over your face. Plus, you're hurting Jasper. So stop!'

I looked at her sheepishly. She was right, and I knew that. Alice gave me an encouraging smile. I wouldn't think about Bella the whole day, I promised myself as I turned the Volvo into the school's parking lot. I knew I could not keep that promise to myself, but I had better try. If not for my sake, than for my family's' sake. I knew that it had hurt them when we left Forks. That was where the we were most comfortable. I hated myself for making them leave, but I couldn't have stayed there. Not with what I had done to Bella. Beautiful, funny, sweet Bella. Stop it, Edward! I commanded myself.

We all climbed out of the car and started towards the office. People's thoughts were centered on us as we passed them.

_'Who are they? Thank goodness I wore a skirt today…'_

_'Great! How am I supposed to get Ally to go out with me now that THEY arehere…'_

_'Ohmygod! Good thing I practiced my flirting…'_

I tried these voices out as we walked into the office. The secretary looked up and gasped. _'Holy smokes! Aren't they a nice looking bunch, especially that one with the blonde hair. She looks a little snobbish, though…'_

I chuckled under my breath as my siblings glared at me, trying to figure out what I was laughing at. I just shook my head at them. Emmett scowled at me as Alice stepped up to the desk. "Hello," she said softly. Even though I couldn't see her face, I could tell Alice would have a friendly smile on her face. "We are the Cullens. We need our schedules."

The secretary looked dazed as she handed Alice our schedules. Of course. Our voices were always a surprise to humans.

We huddled in the hallway to compare schedules. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were pretending to be seniors. Alice and I would be posing as juniors. We weren't planning on staying in this town for very long. We all had lunch the same period. Thank goodness for that!

I glanced down at my schedule and saw that I had first period English with a Ms. Swan. I gasped quietly. The next thing I knew, Alice had thrown her arms around me, which surprised me, seeing as I wasn't a very touchy feely person. "Oh Edward! You can switch out of her class if you want!" I shook my head as I disentangled myself from Alice's arms. "It's ok. I can handle it. Honestly!" I didn't have to read their minds in order to know what they were thinking. They didn't believe me. I couldn't blame them, since I didn't believe me either. I gave them a small smile, and quickly turned to walk in the direction of my class.

Of course, whom should I encounter in hall but the principal! And I hadn't thought my day could get any worse. Silly me!

The principal, Mrs. Webber, insisted on walking me to Ms. Swan's class. As we walked, Mrs. Webber droned on about school rules and policies. When we approached the English room, I almost sighed with relief. Maybe this teacher would be slightly less boring, though probably just as old. English teachers, at least, all the ones that I've known (too many to count) have always been elderly.

When I pushed open the door, I found myself in a colorful room, filled with posters and projects. I looked around the room to try and find the teacher. I was surprised, to say the least, when my eyes finally found her.

She was young, 26 or 27, with strawberry blonde hair with dark roots, and blue eyes that might have been contacts. But it wasn't just her pretty face that threw me off. She wasn't wearing anything even remotely teacher-like. Low-rider jeans, black boots with stiletto heels, and a blue V-neck sweater that accentuated her full figure, and contrasted prettily with her ivory colored skin. She was gorgeous, for a human.

As I was studying her face, she raised her eyes to meet mine. She looked like she was in shock. This was a normal reaction. People were always surprised by our looks.

Then she reached out with her right hand to pinch the skin on her left forearm, and she had her eyes closed tightly. It looked like she was trying to wake up from a dream. This was a first.

Despite the fact that I had never seen her before, Ms. Swan had an air of familiarity about her.

She gripped the edge of her desk tightly, nodded and smiled when Mrs. Webber introduced me to the class. I hoped that I got a seat I the back, by the open windows, where all the fresh, unscented air was pouring in.

"You can go sit there," Ms. Swan pointed to an empty desk near the windows. Her voice was so similar to Bella's it made me ache. It was slightly lower, but still.

I moved quickly (for a human) to my seat in the back. I placed my books on the desk and prepared to be bored out of my mind. But I wasn't. Bored, I mean. This teacher, Ms. Swan, was like no other teacher I had ever had. She was young and full of energy, and she seemed to genuinely care about her students. Except for me. This was something I couldn't figure out. Ms. Swan seemed to really dislike me. She barely glanced at me, and when she did, her eyes were filled with hurt and anger.

I tried to tell what she was thinking, but I got nothing. This had only happened once before, with Bella. Argh! My non-beating heart ached at the thought of Bella. I couldn't believe that I had lived (if that's what you wanna call it) for almost 10 years without her. Sure I had gone a hundred some-odd years without even knowing her, but I hadn't known what I was missing.

The rest of my classes flew by as I thought of the last time I had been in Forks.

It was a couple of years after I had left. I thought that if I could see Bella happy with some other guy, I would feel better about my decision to leave. But Bella wasn't there. Her scent had staled at the house where she and Charlie used to live. I asked all of her friends, Jessica, Angela, even Mike. They had all said that after Charlie died, Bella moved without letting anyone know where she was going. At least she was safe wherever she was, without me constantly endangering her life.

I forced myself to stop thinking about her as I walked to the cafeteria. I got a tray, a sandwich, and a milk. I quickly scanned the lunchroom for my siblings. They were sitting at a corner table; all the surrounding tables were empty. The humans could already sense that we were different. If they couldn't actually comprehend that we were dangerous, their instincts told them not to get too close.

I sat down as Alice was whispering excitedly about her new class, horticulture. Emmett was staring darkly at his food, fuming about how much homework he had already. Rosalie was admiring her nails, painted a light pink.

I was tried to block all the thoughts coming at me by concentrating on the lunch line. Ms. Swan was there. She quickly grabbed a water and nearly ran out of the lunchroom. I narrowed my eyes as I stared after her. What could I have done to hurt her, I thought as I remembered how she looked sad as she looked at me in class.

Alice looked to where I was looking and asked, "Edward? What are you staring at?" She followed my gaze to where it rested on Ms. Swan was rushing out the cafeteria doors. "Who is that? Why do you look mad?" Alice asked curiously.

"What?" I answered, confused. I looked mad. I guess I was mad, I mean this Ms. Swan is mad at me, why couldn't I be mad at her? "That's Ms. Swan." Alice and Jasper raised their eyebrows, and Emmett looked concerned.

"I'm fine," I answered their unspoken question. "I just don't think she likes me very much."

**Author's Note: I know this is much longer than Bella's PoV (there is even more to come from EPoV)! Sorry! But I will get back to Bella's PoV! I promise**


	3. Chapter 3

BPoV

I grabbed a water bottle and ran. Literally. I rushed from the cafeteria to the staff room. Please be empty, I prayed as I unlocked the door. Yes!

I took a gulp of water before setting it down on the table. Then it hit me. I mean _really_ hit me. The Cullens were here! HERE! Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Edward. Ohmygod, Edward is here!

I sank to the floor as that sank in. I pulled my knees up to my chest and started rocking back and forth as my breathing crept toward hyperventilation. I knew what would happen now. He would figure out who I was, and I would fall for him again. Again? I hadn't ever gotten over him, really.

I started rocking faster as I sat on the cold, linoleum floor in fetal position.

How could this have happened?! Why? I was getting better! I don't think I would ever get over Edward, but I was mending the hole he and his family had made when they left. I started to get mad, thinking about how they had left. They hadn't even said good-bye! Even Alice and Esme had just disappeared. I couldn't believe that I thought they would recognize me! They had probably forgotten all about me!

The edges of vision started to blur. I kept rocking. Back, forth, back, forth. Then I blacked out.

Where am I? This is isn't my room, I thought as I sat up. I fought back against a wave of nausea as I recognized the staff room. How did I get on the couch? I stood up quickly, and just as quickly fell over. Instead of the hitting the floor, which was what I was expecting, a pair of strong, warm arms grabbed and steadied me.

I looked up into the dark face of Matthew Kaplin. I blushed as he grinned. "Well good morning, sleepyhead. You are so lucky that you don't have a class 6th period or you would be so busted!" He teased me as I struggled with my mind to figure out what happened. "Oh! You put me on the couch?" He nodded, but didn't let go of my arms. "Wh-what time is it?" He released one of my arms to check his watch. "It's 1:30."

Shoot! I had been unconscious for about an hour. I spied my water bottle on the table, just where I had left it. I shook Matt's arm off me as I went to get a sip. I was lucky, just as Matt had said, that I didn't have a 6th period class to teach. I did, however, have a 7th period class that I needed to prepare for. I turned back to face Matt and saw him looking at me. "What?" I asked him, feeling a little self-conscious as my face began to heat up. "Nothing," He grinned mischievously. I raised my eyebrows at him. "It's just, um, your shirt. It…um…you might want to pull it down." I glanced downward, and then I felt the blush deepen and spread. The hem of my shirt had ridden up about 4 inches above the top of my jeans.

I turned, embarrassed, and rushed out of there as fast as I could, pulling my shirt down as I ran. I hurried to my classroom. I barely made it through the door when the bell signaling the start of 7th period. My students looked at me curiously as I sat at my desk, breathing heavily. I put my hand up, telling them they could have a few minutes to talk quietly amongst themselves. They did talk quietly, probably sensing that I needed quiet. I loved this class. They were the most mature of all my juniors.

I was breathing easier now, so I stood up, and started wrote the homework on the board. I turned around to find a pair of topaz eyes staring at me curiously.

**Author's Note: teehee! Sorry to leave a cliffhanger, but I have to study for my Italian Midterm! I hope this is long enough for you peoples who wanted more from Bella's PoV**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Hey sorry, I forgot to put this in at the beginning and I do not feel like putting in every other chapter so I am just going to say it once: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or any of the characters in them.**


	5. Chapter 5

BPoV

"Hello," the owner of the eyes introduced themselves quietly. "I'm Alice Cullen."

Alice's PoV

Edward was right. There was something familiar about this Ms. Swan, I thought as I studied her back. But why would he think she doesn't like him? I pondered. After he told us that he didn't think that she liked him, Edward turned into a mute. Unfortunately, I couldn't read minds, unlike some people, so I couldn't tell what was bugging him. It was probably just the memory of Bella. It had us all a lot more than we had let on when we had left Bella. We all still missed Bella. She was like part of the family. She was like a sister to me, my best friend. Even Rosalie had come to- well, not exactly _like_ her, but appreciate her influence over Edward. But I couldn't think this now! Not when Edward might be listening to my thoughts.

Ms. Swan turned, and gasped. A look of recognition passed over her face. The teachers must have been gossiping about the Cullen clan, but that didn't the naked panic that showed in her eyes. Huh. Why?

"Hello. I'm Alice Cullen," I introduced myself quietly, not wanting to startle her. She looked like she was having trouble breathing, but her voice was even as she introduced herself. "Hello. I am Ms. Swan. Nice to meet you." My instincts were screaming at me, urging me to recognize her. And yet, I couldn't place her. As far I could remember, I had never met this woman before in my life. I would certainly have remembered such a beautiful human.

She gave me a seat in the back, near the open windows. I was raining softly out. The rain, soft as it was, intensified the smell of human blood. I wondered how Jasper was holding up. I searched through visions of the near future to see if he was in any danger of losing control. I didn't find anything to suggest him attacking anyone. He was getting so much better at enduring the thirst. It probably helped that we had been hunting just last night.

The bell rang, startling me, and scattering my thoughts. I gathered my books slowly, waiting until everyone except Ms. Swan and myself had left. I walked toward her desk. Maybe if I could just suck up to her enough, she would let Edward transfer out of her class. Female teachers were always reluctant to let Edward, or any of the guys, switch out of their class. Some of their arguments had just been ridiculous. One teacher had said that since she had seen Edward before the other teachers had, she was rightfully his teacher. Emmett had rolled on the floor laughing at that one. Everyone was laughing, even Rosalie.

I stepped up to her desk, and she looked up, surprised. A faint blush stained her cheeks, jogging my memory, but still couldn't put it together. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking like she was trying to protect herself. "Yes?" she said, her eyes and voice guarded.

I decided to suck up a little bit first, just to soften her up. "I just wanted to thank you for helping to make me feel welcome to this school. I really appreciate it!" I said brightly. Ms. Swan just smiled slightly. She seemed expectant of more, so I continued. "I know you met my brother today. Edward Cullen?" She nodded as her smile faded. I wondered if maybe she really did dislike him. But why? I kept going with my dialogue. "I was just wondering, maybe if he could transfer out of your class." What was my excuse? Umm… Oh yeah! Then I remembered that Edward was smart. "He thinks that he should be in the advanced placement." I waited, expectant of some response like, 'I could teach more advanced stuff'. Some people had no shame. But her answer caught me completely off guard.

"That's fine," she replied. "Just give me a moment to get the papers so you can take them home for your parents to sign." I felt my jaw drop. Did I really hear what I think I just heard? Did some teacher, a young, female teacher, just acquiesce to let Edward out of her class without even objecting at all? Maybe Ms. Swan really did have something against Edward. But what could make her dislike him so much?

"What?" I finally managed to get out. She looked at me, amused by my reaction. "What did you just say?" I was stunned. This had never happened before. She definitely had a smirk on her face. "I said 'fine'. Why? Is something wrong?" Her tone was condescending. She stood up quickly, her sudden movement sending her scent my way. She froze, realizing that she had made a mistake.

I breathed in deep smelling her scent as it all clicked into place. "Bella?" I whispered. She smiled sadly. "Hello Alice." Ohmygod! I hugged her tightly. "Ohmygod! Bella!" I squealed. I can't believe it! I was finally seeing Bella, after all those years. But I wasn't really seeing Bella, I realized as I pulled away from our embrace. "What did you do to yourself? And how did you end up a teacher? And why didn't you tell me who you were? Or Edward?" Bella flinched when I said his name.

Then the bell rang, startling me again, and causing Bella to jump. "Oops. I am going to be late for my next class." Darn it! Late on the first day. And I wouldn't be able to get answers from Bella. "I will just write you a late pass," she smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I pulled her to sit down at a desk, and I sat across from her. "I want some answers." I told her sternly. "What do you want to know?" she asked, her voice muffled, as her face was in her hands. "First, why do you look like this? Second, how did you end up here? As a teacher? Thirdly, why didn't you tell us who you were? As well as many others." I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Okay," she sighed as she raised her head and began her story.


	6. Chapter 6

JPoV

I clenched my jaw, and swallowed to rid my mouth of the excess flow of venom. Stupid rain! Making everyone smell so much better! Why me? And why the heck did the classes have to be so far apart, with such a long walk in between? If only I could get to the classroom our way, but I couldn't. Ahhh. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked in out of the rain. Now if I could just get through one period after this, then I could be with Alice again. I wondered how Alice's day was going. We hadn't gotten to talk much during lunch.

I concentrated on trying to find Alice amidst all the other students' feelings. I could always tell which feelings were Alice's. I found where Alice was. I tuned out my teacher as I concentrated harder on Alice, who was not in her 8th period class. Her emotions were changing all the time. Surprise, happiness, sadness, confusion, anger, happiness again. What could have caused Alice to feel all these diverse emotions? I wondered. It's times like this when I really wished that I could read minds. Edward had no idea how frustrating it was to not be able to know everyone's' thoughts all the time. Well, considering that he hadn't been able to read Bella's mind… NO! Must not think of Bella, especially since Edward might be listening.

It was hard, trying not to think about Bella, but we had to, for Edward's sake. I mean, we all missed Bella too, but Edward was in serious pain. Which put me in pain. Which definitely made me want to stop thinking of Bella. But I couldn't. She was like family to all of us! I don't think Edward even thought about that when he broke up with Bella, he took away a sister from all of us. I growled softly and concentrated on the lesson.

APoV

I walked in a daze to Edward's shiny Volvo. I couldn't wrap my mind around what Bella had told me. I hadn't gotten the whole version, she edited, and I knew it. I made her promise to tell me the whole version tonight. We were going to meet in the school parking lot, around 11:30.

I counted my steps as I walked quickly towards the car, to keep Edward from reading my thoughts. If Bella didn't want Edward to know she was here, he certainly wasn't going find out through me!

I skipped the last couple of feet to the car and slid into the backseat. I looked up to find Jasper looking at me quizzically, and everyone else was glaring at me. "What took so long, Alice?" Rosalie asked me impatiently. "Yeah, what were you doing?" Emmett questioned me, irritated. " I just got a little bit distracted. So how was the first day?" I asked brightly. Everyone ignored me, except for Jasper, who was still looking at me, an unspoken question in his eyes. I shook my head, telling him that I couldn't explain it now. He shrugged, and turned to look out the window. I reached over to grab his hand, and he smiled at me, and continued to gaze silently out the window. I continued to think numbers or about my homework so that Edward wouldn't see anything suspicious in my thoughts.

The rest of the ride home, no one spoke. Finally, we arrived home. Thank God! As we pulled into the driveway, I popped out of the car and raced up the stairs to my and Jasper's new room. I changed into one of my shortest mini skirts, and a tank top. Then I rushed downstairs so that everyone could see my outfit before Jasper and I could disappear into our room. This was my 'no-one-disturb-us-we-are-doing-something-that-is-none-of-your-business' outfit. They all knew to not come into our room, listen to what we were saying, or listen to our thoughts when I wore this outfit. I stayed downstairs just long enough so that they could see what I was wearing, then I grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him up the stairs and into our room.

I sat him down on the bed and he raised his eyebrows at me. "Now listen Jasper. What I say now is NEVER to be repeated, or even _thought_ of! Especially since this information would kill Edward!" He pulled me down onto the bed next to him, and said, "Are you going to explain why you were late, and your strange emotions this afternoon?" It would seem that way wouldn't it?

"Well…she told me not to tell anyone, but I can't keep a secret from my love." I kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled, and then looked confused. "She?" Where to begin? I figured I should just do it, so I blurted it out. "Bella is now 27, and she is an English teacher at our school." I eyed him warily, waiting for his reaction. He looked like he was having a heart attack, except, of course he can't. He exhaled slowly, and said quietly, "Well, I guess I understand why she didn't want you to tell anyone. This is going to KILL Edward! And he has no idea?" I shook my head. "No. And we cannot tell him. This isn't our secret to tell." Jasper nodded solemnly. "He is probably going to figure it out soon enough. I mean, he would recognize her scent anywhere." I nodded. "We are going to talk about that tonight. I am going to meet her at the school parking lot." He nodded again. "Wow. Bella…here." he breathed quietly. "Edward is going to be ecstatic!" I shook my head quickly. "She doesn't want him to know. I guess I can understand that. I don't know what I would do if you ever left me." He kissed me passionately on the lips, and murmured, "I will never leave you." He kissed me softly, and then went downstairs, to watch Parental Control with the guys. I busied myself with my homework. When I finished my homework, I took a shower, and attempted to distract myself by organizing my closet. I searched into the future, to see if Edward might know what I was up to.

I closed my eyes tight. I saw the inside of a car, presumably Bella's. I was sitting in the passenger's seat, looking at her wrists. Her once smooth skin was now covered with thin scars. I gasped, and sat down hard on the floor. What had Bella done to herself?!

**Author's Note: Well there you have it! Chapter 5 all shiny and new! Or something like that. I would like to thank my good friend Chloe for helping with the idea in this chapter, and what's coming in the next chapter! Let's all give Chloe a round of applause! I hope you all like this chapter, since there won't be another one for a little while. The earliest I can update is Sunday. cowers in corner WAIT! Before you start threatening me, let me explain! I have to study for the SAT! The SAT people! Although it is just a practice, I wouldn't like to flunk it completely! I would shame people! Namely myself! So, stop whining! I mean it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS! Yay! Thank you everybody who reviewed! I really appreciated your compliments, comments, and constructive criticism! Thank you all! I hope you like this chapter, seeing as how I am updating and it is about 1:00 in the morning!  **

BPoV

I drove slowly towards my one bedroom apartment. I parked carefully and headed up the stairs. When I tried to unlock the door, I realized my hand was shaking so much that I couldn't fit the key in the lock. Calm down, I told myself. I steadied my hand, and let myself into the apartment. I froze as I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I need to relax, I thought as I realized it was just Snickers coming to say hello.

I scratched the top of his soft brown-and-white head as I went to get some food to fill his dish. I fed him, and made a mental note to pick up some more dog food. I let Snickers jump onto my lap as I sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs. I rubbed circles on his belly absentmindedly. I need a drink.

I placed Snickers on the floor, and proceeded to search for the ingredients of a margarita. Damn. I didn't have ice. Oh well. Cranberry juice would work just as well. I poured myself a glass full. The cool liquid slid down my throat, instantly calming me. Oops. About half of the juice spilled onto my shirt and jeans. Great. Now it looked like I peed. As if my day wasn't suckish enough. Memories I have been trying to repress for about a decade suddenly spring up, I fainted in the teachers' room, and I'm probably not going to get any sleep tonight, thanks to Alice refusing to accept the story I told her just an hour earlier.

I walked slowly towards my bedroom. I turned on the light, and glared at the mess. I really needed to clean up in here. Maybe I should do it now, just to keep my mind off of Edward. I sank to the floor as the pain came back.

Instead of fighting it, I allowed the memories show themselves. I thought of the hundreds of times that Edward had said he loved me, and the one time that he said he hadn't. It just took one time to negate all the others. I couldn't really blame him for not loving me. I mean, he was a _vampire_. I was human. Although he could've changed that…

But he hadn't wanted to. He didn't want to spend eternity with boring, clumsy, stupid little me. Why would he? He was interesting, and smart, and _gorgeous_! Tears welled up in my eyes, and spilled over onto my cheeks. Snickers laid his head down on my knee, which was comforting. At least someone needed, no, wanted, me.

I couldn't blame him for not loving me, but I could blame him for not letting me say goodbye to the rest of the Cullens. They were like my second family, and he had just taken them all away, just as abruptly as he took away my ability to love. Sure, I had loved Charlie, and I still loved Renee. But, never could I ever love anyone the way that I had loved Edward, with my whole being.

My hurt and sadness was replaced by anger. He had just left me, running away, like I was nothing. Well, maybe I wasn't immortal, and maybe I had to eat every day, but that didn't mean that I could just be brushed aside like a…like a… something not important. I was important!

I sat there on the floor for a while, wallowing in thoughts of self-pity and anger. Then, after about half an hour, I decided that I should get up and attempt to get out the juice stain. I quickly changed into a pink tee shirt, with the school sweatshirt over it, and another pair of jeans. I gathered up some more clothes that needed to be washed. While the washing machine was going, my stomach growled. Dinnertime.

I walked quickly into the kitchen and examined my options. Some of last night's pizza, or I could make spaghetti. Spaghetti it was.

When I was done eating dinner, I finished the laundry, and checked my watch. Only 7:00. I turned on the television and started watching the news. Next thing I know, I'm waking up, and it was 11:15. Shoot! I grabbed the keys and ran down to my car.

I drove a little haphazardly into the school parking lot, and my pulse was racing. I glanced at my watch. 11:25. I had 5 minutes to collect my thoughts. Or not.

Alice tapped on the passenger side window. I unlocked the car and she quickly climbed into the car, bringing a gust of cold air with her. I looked at her uncertainly, unsure of what she wanted to know. "Hello," She said brusquely. "Hi," I replied, confused by her sharp tone. "Bella, show me your wrists." WHAT?! How could she have known about that? Oh, right. Stupid vampire abilities!

I stuck out my hand about 3 inches away from my body and said, innocently I hoped, "Yeah?" Alice narrowed her eyes at me before grabbing my right hand and pulling it toward her. She rolled up the sleeve and gasped. I winced as she ran her cool fingers over my scars. I had been using cream, and they were faded, but not enough that I could wear short-sleeved shirts. "Bella," Alice said softly, so soft that I had to strain to listen. "We are going to have a long talk about this, but not here. Why don't you just drive back to your place, and I'll follow in my car. I don't want you getting too tired, and I have a feeling that we are going to be talking for a _long_ time." She raised her eyebrows at me, and I knew there was no way to get around this. So I just nodded, and pulled my arm back. She released me, and climbed gracefully out of the car.

I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I could see Alice was impatient with me for driving slowly, but who cares? When I reached the parking lot of my building, I pulled into a spot near the door. I took off my seatbelt, and turned to open the door, but Alice was already there. She grabbed my arm as soon as I was out of the car and pulled me into the building. "Oh, before I forget, I have this fabulous dress that would fit you perfectly! Remind me to show it to you!" Alice said excitedly as we walked up the stairs. I rolled my eyes. She hadn't changed one bit.

I unlocked my door, and was greeted by a very enthusiastic Snickers. Beside me, Alice froze; making me, belatedly, remember her diet. "Oops," I whispered, ashamed for not having remembered that Alice might not be able to handle Snickers. "No, it's ok." Alice reassured me. I hurried to lock Snickers in the bathroom, whispering him an apology as I closed the door. I returned to the living room, to find that Alice had made herself comfortable on one of my plushy chairs. She seemed to be expecting to stay for a while. Oh dear.

**Author's Note: Hey Guys! I hope this chapter is long enough to sooth your ruffled feathers over me not being able to update sooner. Tell me what you think!**


	8. Chapter 8

APoV

She got a dog? Bella had never really struck me as a pet type of person, and yet here she was, living alone with a dog? That was unexpected, and I do not like surprises. I am very rarely surprised, but Bella had managed it twice in one day. Or rather, Ms. Swan. I bounced impatiently in one of the living room chairs. What was taking her so long? I only had about a zillion questions! I knew we would, well I would be making her, be talking for a while, so I made myself comfortable in the chair.

Finally, I thought, exasperated, as Bella walked into the living room, looking apprehensive. I waited while she situated herself on the couch before saying, "So…" Bella was definitely uncomfortable, but I wanted, no _needed_ to know this. "Yeah, um, so. What do you want to know?" She said nervously. Her arms were wrapped around her, as if her stomach hurt. "I have a couple of questions," I said, making my voice softer. Bella nodded and gestured that I should continue. She still looked sick, and she was very pale. I got up and wrapped my arms around her. She relaxed a little under my embrace. I moved back to my chair. She still smelled just as good as she used to.

Bella looked at me, waiting for me to ask her something. So I did. "Why did you change your appearance?" She curled into a tight ball on the couch. I waited for her answer. "I didn't want to look like the Bella Swan that didn't deserve Edward." She mumbled, wincing as she said Edward's name. What? I guess if she had believed that it made sense, but not to someone who knew that Edward was in love with Bella. Next question. "What have you been up to for the last 9 ½ years?" Her voice was muffled when she answered, "Nothing really." I raised my eyebrows. "Really. After you guys left, without even saying _good bye_, I was in a slump." I could see that it hurt her talk about this, but she kept going. "I didn't really do anything. I went to school, I ate and I slept. That's about it. Charlie was very worried about me, at least until he died. That was about 2 years after you guys left. I went to live with Renee and Phil. They were always traveling, and Renee got tired of me trailing after them, being depressed, so she sent me to college. I was tired of being a problem to everyone, so I started to… um…cut myself. Until Juliana found out." Bella smiled a little bit when she spoke of Juliana. How could we have let this happen to Bella? Did Edward really think that he was protecting her when we left? If he could hear all the terrible things that had befallen Bella, would he still think that? Why did I listen to him when he said it was the right thing to do? I stopped questioning myself when Bella started talking again.

"When Juliana found out what I was doing, she made me stop. She moved into my dorm, and watched me all the time to make sure that I had stopped." Bella smiled sadly. "She is the reason that I am still here. Anyways, after Juliana made me stop, I decided to become an English teacher. I moved here, and I was getting better. At not being depressed, and I wasn't missing **him** as much as before. And the rest you know." When she finished her story, Bella curled into a ball again, resting her head on her knees. Someday I was going to have to find Juliana and give her a million dollars.

I jumped up and gave Bella another big hug. I noticed the circles under eyes, and how pale her face was. I glanced at my watch, only to find that it was 1:30. "Do you want to go to sleep now?" I asked her. Bella shook her head stubbornly. "Bella. Come on. Don't be stubborn." She shook her head and said, "I have some questions too!" Uh oh. "I will answer all of your questions tomorrow morning," I promised. Bella looked skeptical. "I have to work, remember?" Oh yeah! She wasn't my age anymore. Wow, this was weird. "So take a sick day. I don't think you'll be in any condition to work anyway." She nodded, and stood to get ready for bed. When she got to the doorway she turned, and I could see sadness in her eyes. "You are going to be here when I wake up, right?" I nodded, and she disappeared into her bedroom.

Now I understood completely why she hadn't wanted Edward to know who she was. She was a mess! She had had her heart broken (courtesy of Edward), her father had died, her mother practically kicked her out just because she was a killjoy, and she slit her wrists! She didn't even look like the Bella that all of the Cullen's had loved! And that was another thing! How could Edward have been so STUPID?! Why would anyone in their right mind walk away from true love? WHY HADN'T EDWARD JUST CHANGED BELLA? But no, he was all 'I can't damn her'. Well newsflash buddy, she wanted to spend eternity with you, and you blew it, you big DUMBBELL! I almost wished that Edward was reading my mind, but through my rage, I knew that that would be bad. More than bad, disastrous. Bella didn't want Edward to know who she was, but she knew that he would find out sooner or later, most likely sooner. Grrr. I needed to know what somebody else thought of this. Not Jasper, he wouldn't understand. Emmett was too much of a guy. Carlisle was at work. Rosalie was too selfish and mean. That left Esme. Of course! Why didn't I think of that before?

I watched Bella climb into bed, and she quickly fell asleep. As soon as I was sure she was sound asleep, I raced down the stairs, careful not to go too fast, a human could see me. I threw open my car door, and hurried to get the car started. I drove fast, but it wasn't fast enough. "Come on," I urged my car, which was pushing 130. I could run home faster than this. After about 10 minutes, I pulled into our driveway, being very careful with my thoughts. The guys and Rosalie were sitting in the living room, watching some lame reality show. "Where's Esme?" I asked them quickly. They looked surprised by my bursting in on them without warning. Edward looked frustrated as he tried to read my thoughts. "Stop trying to read my thoughts, Edward! Where is Esme?" Emmett looked scared as he said, "She is in her room. Why?"

"None of your business," I snapped as I ran up the stairs. I rushed to Carlisle and Esme's new room, and almost collided with Esme, who was unpacking. "My goodness! Alice what has gotten into you?" Esme chided me, but I didn't listen. "I have to talk to you!" She must have heard the urgency in my voice, because she looked worried. "About what?" She said, apprehensively. "We can't talk about it here," I said my voice low. She nodded, and let me pull her down the steps, past the living room, and out the door, ignoring the quizzical looks that everyone was throwing us. "Where are you guys going?" Rosalie called after us. I ignored her as Esme climbed into the car and we pealed away. Esme, God bless her, didn't say a word for the whole 10 minute trip to Bella's building.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I stopped the car. "What are we doing here?" Esme asked me confusedly. I took a deep breath, and said, "Come on inside and I will show you." She nodded and followed me into the building, not protesting. God, I love Esme! I led her up the stairs, and opened the door to Bella's apartment. I watched as Esme walked into the apartment, and she gasped as she recognized the familiar scent. I looked at me, a million questions in her eyes.

EPoV

Grrr! Why was Alice blocking me from her mind? Where had she been at 1:40 in the morning? And why had she come back for Esme? I hated not knowing what Alice was thinking! "What was all that about?" I asked, exasperated with Alice's secrecy. "I don't know," Emmett and Rosalie said in unison. They smiled at each other, and then went back to watching the cheesy reality show on TV. Jasper looked guilty as he shrugged. I narrowed my eyes at him in suspicion. What had that whole thing with him and Alice this afternoon been about? I knew that they hadn't done anything; he had come down too soon. What did he, Alice, and Esme know that I didn't? I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just turned back to the TV, so I tried a different method.

_I know you are listening Edward, so STOP! I'm not going to tell you what I know! So stop trying to read my thoughts! If I told you, Alice would kill me! Besides, you don't want to know. Trust me._

I stopped trying to hear what was going on in his head. Big help he was! But I still didn't know what Alice was doing, or what she knew! Oh well, I would manage to get it out of her, or Esme eventually.

**Author's Note: This is a really long chapter! The only reason I managed to finish it tonight is because I wanted to get a part of the story down before it left my head, but then I was like, hey! I have a notebook just for ideas about Twilight! So why don't you write it down? So I wrote it down, and you people are going to have to wait to read it! muahaha! I hope you all like this chapter because I worked very hard on it! Tell me what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: I am SO sorry about the delay! Please forgive me! I have been really busy, and my Microsoft Word was all screwy, and um…lots of other stuff got in the way of me finishing this chapter. But it is up now, so without further ado, Chapter Nine!**

**Esme's PoV**

Where the heck was Alice taking me? And why would she have been out at 1:30 AM? And where had she been all night? Alice wasn't usually this reckless, and it worried me, but I didn't say anything to her. I kept silent as she drove, jiggling her leg up and down anxiously. I just hoped that it didn't have anything to do with Edward's depression. The poor boy had been through so much! It pained me to see him now. He didn't listen to music, he only hunted when absolutely necessary, he didn't do _anything_. Usually he just stared at nothing, lost in thoughts and memories of her. Everyone missed her, but not nearly as much as Edward did. Still, if he hadn't been so adamant against making Bella one of us…

The car stopped rather suddenly, and I looked up at Alice. We had stopped at…an apartment building. Okay, this was not what I had been expecting. Actually, I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. "What are we doing here?" I asked her. Alice breathed deep, then replied, "Come on inside and I will show you." Well, if that's the only way to get answers.

Alice pulled me into the building, up a flight of stairs, and into a hallway. What was she supposed to be showing me that was so secret in _this_ place? Alice placed her small hand on the doorknob of a door, and slowly opened the door. She walked in first, so I followed. She looked at me expectantly as I walked in, and took a sniff at the air. I gasped. Bella! I knew this scent. It was as familiar as a deer, or a bear. But, why would she be here? How did Alice find her? How has she been doing? How is Charlie? What had she been doing since we saw her last, on her 18th birthday?

I looked at Alice, trying to communicate all these questions with my eyes, since I was unable to voice them. She understood, and sat me down on a couch before filling me in.

**Alice's PoV**

I told her. I told her about Charlie's death, about Renee taking her in, and kicking her out, about her cutting herself, and about her new look. Esme just sat there, taking it all without even a murmur. She didn't need to say anything; I could see the expression on her face. She looked horrified. That's probably what I had looked like that when Bella told me. I'm sure that Esme was thinking the same thing: How could we have let this happen to her?

**Author's Note: I know, I know. This is a shrimpy chapter. Plus, it is mostly filler. But you guys wanted an update! I am just trying to figure out a way to get to the more exciting part of the story, so bear with me, and while you are waiting for the next chapter, tell me what you think! I am not just doing this to get more reviews; I really need some feedback on this, to know how I can improve! I know they say you can't improve perfection ;) but still. There is always room for improvement!**


	10. Chapter 10

How could we have let this happen to Bella? All these horrible things! Charlie, and Renee, and she _slit_ her wrists! She was intentionally hurting herself! Just because Edward was so damn stubborn! I love my son, but if he wasn't so pigheaded, we wouldn't be in this situation, and he wouldn't be so miserable! If only we could go back in time! Alas, we can't. What's done is done, and what the hell had Edward done?

I looked at Bella's sleeping form. She looked so different! She had reddish-yellow hair!

I loved her brown hair! Though I couldn't see them through her closed lids, I could tell that her eyes would be sadder. Her skin was papery thin; she was almost the same color as her white sheets! And she was old! Older than I was, even!

As I was looking at her, Bella rolled over, mumbled something under her breath, then slowly opened her eyes. When she saw me, she gave a muffled shriek. She squinted at me in the dark and then, "Esme?" she asked incredulously. I couldn't blame her. I could hardly believe it was her either, although I hadn't changed in appearance since we had last seen each other. I nod, and smile widely at her. She smiles cautiously back, which I take for an invitation to go hug her. And I do. Hug her. I try to be careful, and gentle, since she is a human. But that could change.

She seems a little stiff, but soon Bella hugs me back. When I let go, I see that her eyes were bright with unshed tears. Despite the tears and the sad look in her eyes, Bella has a smile on her face. We stay like that for a while, Bella on the bed, me standing in front of her. We look at each other, until she looks away. "Um. Esme?" she says, still not looking at me. "Yes?" I reply. "How- how much do you know?" Bella finally looks at me, and can see in my expression that I know all of it. She sighs, and reaches her arms out towards me. How did she know?

I sat on the bed next to her and pulled her right arm in my lap. The pale skin covering her forearm, which should have been smooth, was crisscrossed with thin scars. Running my hand over it felt like reading Braille, with lines instead of bumps. I glanced up at Bella, who had her eyes closed tightly. I pulled her into another hug. She was limp in my arms. Oh, poor Bella. Life hadn't been kind to her. Neither had Edward. But that was going to change, and soon.

"We need to talk," I say seriously, because this is a serious matter. Then I remember she is an adult now! I can't talk to her like a teenager. Though, compared to how old I really was, she was quite young. But I still couldn't talk to her like a young person, like my children. "Okay," she said, "but first, I have to shower and eat." Duh, Esme! "Go ahead. I'll be right here, okay?" Bella nods, then slips through a door off the bedroom, leading into the bathroom. Moments later, I hear the water running.

I use the time she is in the shower to think of questions I can ask her without it getting too awkward. Besides, anything she can't tell me, she will most likely tell Alice, who will most likely tell me. So, keep it light. Harder than it sounds, since there isn't really anything that I would like to know that is light. The most frivolous thing I can think of is 'Is that hair color permanent?'

So that's the first question I ask her when she comes out of the bathroom wearing a light pink sweatshirt and black sweats. Bella laughs quietly. "No," she says, shaking her head. "It's already fading, see?" It does look a little browner than before she showered. I follow Bella into the kitchen, where she pours herself a bowl of cereal. She looks uncomfortable as she turns around to ask "Where did Alice go?" I don't know what was taking Alice so long to get back, anyway. "She went home to change clothes, and to tell Jasper she wasn't going to be in school." Bella's eyes widened. "How many people know? She _promised_ that she wouldn't tell anyone!" Why didn't Bella want anyone to know? I understand her not wanting Edward to know, to an extent, but why the others?

Oh yeah! Mind-reading! Darn that was annoying! Of all the vampiric abilities, he would have to have **that** one!

I guess I growled or something, because Bella suddenly looked very frightened. Oh no! I smiled at her, to calm her down. She resumed eating her cereal, but she looked wary as she chewed.

"I'm back," Alice called out from the front door. She walked into the kitchen carrying several bags. Bella raised her eyebrows, and Alice shrugged. "I didn't want them anymore," she explained. "Alice, I am at least two sizes bigger than you," Bella says suspiciously. Alice rolls her eyes and sighs exasperatedly. "I bought them for you a while ago. Your size hasn't changed that much, has it?" she asks, eying Bella, who rolls her eyes in return. "Before I turn into Barbie, I have questions, remember?"

Alice places the bags on the ground, then walks into the living room, calling over her shoulder, "Finish your cereal and come in here." Bella shakes her head, dumps out the rest of her cereal, and walks into the living room. I trail after her, and sit down on the couch. Bella sits in one of the chairs, and Alice has settled another. "Okay, shoot."


	11. Chapter 11 finally!

**This chapter is dedicated to Andie, as kind of a late birthday present. I know that this chapter should have been posted months ago except for the minor detail of it not being finished. My apologies to all my readers who had to wait so long for this chapter that I'm sure isn't even that great. Nevertheless, enjoy.**

**BPoV**

I fiddled with a piece of my hair as I thought about which of the thousands of questions running through my mind I should ask first. I decided on the easiest one; to ask, and to answer. "What have you guys been doing for the past, oh decade or so?" I asked them, trying to keep my voice light. Esme smiled at me. Alice pulled her knees up to her chest, contemplating how to answer my question. "And **don't** edit," I warned her. Alice just grinned. "Well, after we left, we went to England for a while. We visited the Denali clan frequently. We lived in several other places, never staying long. Nothing terribly exciting," Alice said. I raised my eyebrows. That was all they did? Somehow, I doubted that. "I may be just a human, but I'm not stupid," She stuck her tongue out at me before sitting in silence for couple more moments, thinking, I suppose, about whether or not to tell me. Sighing, she apparently decided on telling me the rest of the story, which was good, because I was in no mood to wrestle it out of her. Which I couldn't do anyways, even if I was in the mood.

"Well, as I said, we went to England, but Edward went off on his own for like, 3 years. He didn't contact us for a while, and Esme was in heart-attack mode for the whole time." Now Esme looked reproachfully at Alice, and Alice giggled.. I was struck by how young they acted, and how old I felt. Then I realized that I was older than both of them! In 'living' years, not 'walking dead' years.

Then curiosity took over. Why would Edward have left his family, and not even contact them? It obviously wasn't because of me. That hurt to think, but it was the truth. So then, why would he have left? I wracked my brain for something, but nothing I could think of that made sense, so I asked, "Why did he do that?"

Alice and Esme exchanged a glance before Esme turned to me and said softly, "Well dear, um, well, he never told us why." I raised my eyebrows, but didn't ask any more questions about that. I had a feeling they wouldn't tell me either way.

We sat in a silence for a while as I thought of which of the many questions to ask. I had no idea how long they would be willing to answer my inquiries, so I decided to skip the less important questions and head right for the questions that I desperately wanted to know the answers to, but at the same time was deathly afraid of the answers.

"Why did you all leave? Without even saying goodbye! I guess I can understand why he wouldn't want you to…"

Alice and Esme exchanged another glance, pained expressions on both their faces. I buried my head in my hands, and Esme was there in flash, arms around me, pulling me towards her cold body, smooth like marble, just like _he _had always been.

"Oh dear! We wanted to say goodbye, we did! It was… well, there are things that you should know, that we can't tell you!" she crooned.

I raised my head from its current position on my arms. What did that mean? Some things they couldn't tell us? Like what? "Well, do you know who _can _tell me?" I asked, admittedly a bit testily. Alice leaned towards me, still in the chair. "We can, but I don't think you'll like the answer," she said grimly.

Ah. She must mean Edward. But what did Edward know that he hadn't told me? He didn't love me; therefore, he left, taking my friends and my dream family with him, not allowing them to even say good-bye. I suppose he had his reasons, like, he didn't love me anymore. Or maybe not even at all, and he got sick of pretending.

My eyes filled with tears at the thought that our whole relationship was a fake. The words murmured late at night, the special jokes that only we understood, the soft kisses between classes… I hastily brushed the tears from my cheeks before they could get past my nose. Esme hugged me again, quickly, before moving back to her spot across the room. "I'm sorry dear." She said apologetically. "It's just that I haven't been hunting in a while…" She trailed off, and I nodded at her, letting her know that I understood.

Suddenly Alice's watch beeped, making us all jump. Alice quickly pressed several buttons on her high-tech watch, tre fashionable, of course, and the beeping stopped. Then she did a rather comedic double take at the time. "Is it really that late?" I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. 12:30. "I have to get to school before lunch is over!" Esme also glanced at her watch before jumping up. "Well darling, I also have to go. You're sure you don't want him to know that you are here?" I nodded firmly. "Well then I have to go hunting before he gets home so that he won't smell you on me."

I raised myself from the couch. "I'm sorry if I inconvenienced you." Alice rolled her eyes and Esme hugged me again. "Don't be silly darling," she said. "We're delighted to see you again!" Alice nodded and hugged me around Esme. Then they both left, leaving the apartment empty and quiet. I let Snickers out of the bathroom and fed him before making myself some very strong coffee.

**I know. Not fabulous, but better then anything that I've written in the past… 6 months or so. It's not even that long. Whatever. Again, this chapter is for Shmandie. World Peace!!!!!**


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter is dedicated especially to my grandmother.**

**APoV**

Esme and I sat in silence on the car ride home. I could tell that not giving Bella satisfactory answers hurt her too. I just felt like, we owed it to her, especially after seeing the state she's in now, it's like we are doing the wrong thing by not telling her what she wanted, nay, needed to know. But the only person who could give her the answers had to be Edward. He broke her heart, it was only right that he was the one to repair it. I turned to Esme. "We- We are doing the right thing, not telling her, right?" Esme sighed. "I hope so dear," She smiled, then turned back to the window.

When we reached home, we both sat for a while, before Esme turned to face me. "Thank you. I am glad you brought me to her," She smiled, before opening the car door, and dashing off to hunt in the woods behind our house. This house actually reminded me a bit of the Forks house. It was on the outskirts of town, and was surrounded by woods with a long driveway extending to the road. So much had changed in just about 10 years. After Edward met Bella, he was so much happier. He engaged more in the family, and we felt less guilty about being happy when he wasn't. When we left Forks, he was like pre-Bella, only even worse! At least before Bella, he didn't know what he was missing! Now he was just miserable, and very disengaged from everything, including the family! He hardly even played the piano, and he wouldn't play the one from Forks. Poor Edward, although, if he had just taken our advice and not been so stubborn, he wouldn't be in this mess to begin with! But who could blame him for trying to protect her?

I took a ridiculously quick shower and stashed my clothes at the back of my closet before changing into a new set and dashing off to school, just in time for the end of lunch. I slid into my seat next to Jasper like I hadn't inexplicably missed half a day of school and just reappeared. Jasper continued gazing out into the lunch room, but everyone else stared incredulously at me. Emmett's mouth even hung open. I laughed at him, and everyone else jumped. Edward narrowed his eyes, trying even harder to see what I was thinking, but no way was I going to let that happen. I started singing disco songs in my head, and kept it up for the rest of lunch, and for a while after, just in case.

I went through the rest of my day like normal. In English, there was some old lady substitute named Mrs. Henshaw. Bella was a much better teacher. It was so weird to think that. Bella, my best friend Bella, was a teacher. Not to mention old! Well, relatively. Considering that I was like, 90 years older than her, she wasn't really that old. In human years she was older than all of us! Even Carlisle and Esme! Wow. That kind of thing boggled the mind. Even one that was over a hundred years old!

As I approached the car at the end of the day, I was ready for their attack, because, obviously, I saw it coming. I climbed into my seat next to Jasper somewhat cautiously, and Edward started towards home. It was quiet for a few moments, before Emmett cleared his throat. Rosalie started. "What the heck, Alice? What is going on with you? And Esme, and I am guessing that Jasper is in on it as well. You come home at 2 in the morning, and you missed half a day of school with no warning!" Emmett nodded. "Don't keep secrets from us. And Jasper, you know don't you?" Jasper looked sheepish and nodded. "Does everybody know but me and Rose?" Emmett asked angrily. "No!" Edward pitched in, almost as angry. "I don't know either!" I looked at Jasper and sighed. I really had my work cut out for me this time.

"I'm really sorry you guys! I can't tell you! Carlisle doesn't know either! I really am sorry, but I just… I'm not allowed to tell you!" I really was sorry that I couldn't tell them, but I had promised Bella, and I broke that promise by telling Jasper and Esme. I couldn't betray her trust, especially since she was so adamant against telling Edward. I just hoped that she would be able to forgive him soon, and reveal herself. "You all will find out soon enough anyway!" And yet that didn't help.

I focused on the pattern on the top of the car so Edward wouldn't find anything in my head he wasn't supposed to. I don't know how much longer I could keep this secret, and it had only been a day.

**EPoV**

I raised my eyebrows as Jasper came out to the car alone. I figured this had something to do with yesterday, or rather, this morning when Alice had been so weird. I still was curious about that. I narrowed my eyes at Jasper, but he shook his head and climbed silently into the car. Fine. I had other ways of going about this. I took down the mental blocker I usually had in place and tuned in to Jasper's mind.

_Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent… _This just made me more curious. What were they so against me knowing? Hmmmm… I would figure it out eventually.

I continued to ponder it throughout the car ride, and homeroom. I stopped before English to brace myself. I walked in and halted when I saw a rather old lady behind the desk. She looked a bit like a turkey, with the gobble and a double chin. I sat in my seat at the back and she introduced herself as Mrs. Henshaw, and she would be our substitute for today. I wondered where Ms. Swan was, and if she was avoiding me. But it was silly to think that she didn't like me so much that she would not come to work. Wow. Now I really understood what- what Bella must have felt on her first day. Ironic, and painful at the same time. The rest of the day I attempted to not think about her, which was the story of my non-life for the past nine and a half years.

During lunch, I started to get worried about Alice, and then, just like thinking about her was all it took, she was there. Emmett's jaw dropped, and I'm sure I looked similar. This was not like Alice. Again, I wondered what was going on with her, and Jasper. And now Esme as well. Lunch ended abruptly, but we would ambush her in the car, and she knew that.

**Hey guys! I am so sorry for the wait, again! I just have a lot going on now. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I want to thank you guys for sticking with me! Even when I am being the most annoying person and not updating for half a year! But this time it was only 3 months! I made this one kinda long to try and make it up to you! I did this one kinda in a rush, so if you have any comments or suggestions, please review! It makes me very happy, and the happier I am, the more I will be motivated to write! Ha! I am bribing you! Of course, if you don't like the story, then it's kinda a bust. Oh well! Toodles for now!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'M SORRY!!! For the long wait… again. Boo for me!**

**BPoV**

So even my strongest coffee couldn't help. Neither did those three Advil, followed by a gulp of water, which I promptly choked on. Snickers made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. I glared at him until he made those adorable puppy eyes, and I couldn't resist bending down and scratching his fuzzy little head. I fed him and gave him some clean water, before heading to my bedroom, hopefully for a nap. Unfortunately, I couldn't get to sleep. Thoughts chased each other around inside my poor tired brain. I needed to get up, but my brain was so tired. Ok. How could I appease my brain and body? Something that didn't require much thinking… Aha! I could walk Snickers! Aw, the poor puppy must really have to go! I am such a bad pet owner!

Satisfied with this idea, I jumped out of bed, and promptly fell back to the floor, having gotten twisted in the sheets. Snickers had no end of amusement while I was around, it would seem, since there he went again with his stupid dog laughing! Grrrrr. He followed me to the kitchen. I grabbed the leash off the door handle and latched it onto Snicker's collar. We were all the way down the hall when I realized that I probably shouldn't leave the house in my sweats. I let myself into the apartment to change. I jumped when the phone rang loudly. I buttoned my jeans and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" It was Matt. "Are you feeling alright? Would you like me to drop by to check on you?" Damn, he was persistent! I wouldn't be surprised if he was related to Mike. Ha!

"No thanks Matt. I'm fine; I just needed a day off. Do you know who is covering my classes?"

"Um… I think Mrs. Henshaw." Darn. My students didn't like her, for which I didn't blame them! The woman looked like a fat turkey, and was boring as hell!

"Ok, thanks for calling Matt! I'll see you tomorrow!" I hung up, and grabbed Snickers' leash before I could get sidetracked by anything else.

We meandered down the street, Snickers going almost as soon as we got outside, but I kept walking, not wanting to go back into the apartment and have time to think. Right now, thinking was dangerous, but I couldn't keep my mind from wandering. I didn't think that seeing Edward would be a good idea, and at the same time, I was yearning to hear him say my name like he used to. But I didn't even know if he was pretending throughout our whole relationship, and that hurt even more than the thought that he had fallen in, and out, of love with me, as he claimed.

I couldn't believe my own bad luck. I really didn't want him to know! This posed a slight problem, considering, oh yeah, we were going to see each other every weekday for the rest of the school year!!! That could be potentially problematic in my avoiding him plan!

Snickers started to whine. I shook out of my thoughts. Wow. We had walked, or rather, I walked and Snickers had been dragged, a long way from the building. I turned around and we started back towards my building.

**Edward's PoV**

Grrrr. Alice was being infuriating! Not to mention Jasper, and now Esme! Being a mind reader, I wasn't used to not knowing things. I raced down the streets in my car and lowered the window for some of the air rushing past. I had long ago gotten rid of the silver Volvo, _her _smell had permeated it. I slowed my car when I saw a person walking their dog. That was odd. Why hadn't I heard their mind?

I realized it was Ms. Swan and her dog. She, seemingly, had heard the car and turned towards me. Her eyes widened and she gasped, before composing herself.

"Hello Edward," she said, her voice shaking a tiny bit. I wondered what was wrong with her. She was acting like she was very nervous, but was it because of me? Maybe she knows what you are! The thought popped into my head before I could stop it. That was a ridiculous idea, I was just being paranoid! Right?

"Good afternoon Ms. Swan. You weren't in school today. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine" she replied. "Thank you for asking."

We stayed like that for a while, her shifting uncomfortably and me just sitting. I took a deep breath to ask her why she didn't like me when I smelt it. I smelt her, the unmistakable, beautiful scent of my Bella. I took another deep breath, and I knew. It was her!

**Muahaha! Sorry! For the long wait, and the cliffhanger! I can explain the long wait! Not really! Haha! Some things came up, like my cousin having a baby, and my grandmother passed away. That was hard. :'( Oh well. Here it is! I know it is really bad, but I hope you all enjoy it, and happy new year!! Sorry also that it is so short, and so so so sorry that it sucks! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks so much to Andie!!!**

BPoV

I could hear my heart pounding in my head. I wondered vaguely if he heard it too. I could've laughed at the absurdity. Of course he could hear it. In fact, he could probably hear it better than I could.

He had taken a deep breath, inhaling my scent, and he knew. I could see it in his eyes. He looked me in the eye, his beautiful ones mesmerizing me. I knew that when I looked at him, it just confirmed it.

"Bella?" Edward whispered incredulously.

"Surprise?" I smiled weakly and adjusted Snickers' leash as I watched him. His face twisted, from shock, to something that looked like anger. I couldn't tell if he was angry at me, or at himself. He was silent, and I studied his face some more. His lovely eyes wide, nostrils flared, perfect lips pressed tightly together. I don't know how long we stood like that, him sitting stiffly and staring straight ahead of him, and me staring at him. It felt like hours, but it was probably only a few moments.

Snickers finally broke the silence by twisting his leash and whimpering. Edward glanced at him, before drawing his eyes upwards, and meeting my own. I couldn't breathe as I gazed into his golden eyes, and I saw some flicker of emotion, before it was gone, and he was speaking smoothly.

"Bella, I think it might be in the best interest if you went home now."

Wait, what?

"What are you… but…" I really couldn't think of a protest as I tried not to let the hurt show on my face.

Edward drove off suddenly, and it took all I had to walk Snickers home, rather than what I wanted to do, which was curl up and sob. 5 minutes. That was all it took for him to come back, and break my heart again.

I choked back the tears as I passed my neighbor coming down the stairs, who looked at me, concerned, but didn't say anything. I thanked her silently; I had the feeling if I opened my mouth, I would break down right there in the stairwell. I made it to my apartment, and let go of Snickers' leash, sliding down to the floor against the closed door. I hugged my knees tight to my chest. I had promised myself that if _he _had ever returned to my life again, I wouldn't let him turn me into a quivering mass again, but I never actually thought that I would ever see him again.

But I had hoped. Much as I hated to admit it, especially to myself, but I had wanted him to be back in my life. Don't ask me why, maybe I was turning myself into some kind of masochistic person who went out of her way by trying to get her heart broken. That was probably what it seemed like to Edward. Maybe even to all the Cullens. They probably knew, all those years ago, that he hadn't loved me. That it was all some kind of scheme to … okay, so I didn't know exactly what kind of person would do that. Maybe Edward was as sadistic as I was turning masochistic. Somehow, I doubted it. I couldn't see Edward doing something that cruel.

I shook myself from the daze. Of course he could do something that cruel! Stupid girl, I chastised myself. He had already done it!

**Wow. Again, sorry for the delay! This time, I don't have any excuses except for laziness. And school. So why don't we just blame it all on school: ) I'm really sorry it's so short, but I got to this part, and I didn't think it would be fair to go further, since I'm probably not going to post again for awhile (time to face the facts, eh?) and I want to make up for the lameness of this chapter! Again, sorry that it is short, and not even that good, but at least its a post, right?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Edward's PoV**

The monster inside of me growled furiously as I sped off, barely managing to keep the car under control. After all this time, her scent was just as strong, just as appealing as it had always been, and whatever restraint I used to have had seemingly vanished over the years.

I left the window down as I drove, letting the fresh air wash away all scents of Bella, but the memory stuck with me. I tried to distract myself from the smell, but all I could think of was Bella, and that was even worse than trying to fight the blood-thirsty monster within. I had not missed the flash of hurt she had tried to conceal, the slight tremor in her lovely voice as she tried to stop me. Thinking about it now, I was sorely tempted to go back, and beg her forgiveness. In fact, if I wasn't afraid I might loose my control, I might have done just that.

She deserves so much than me. I'm a monster, and she is pure, and good. As much as I told myself that, I never could let her go. Not even at the thought of her happy with someone else. _Especially_ at the thought of her happy with someone else.

As soon as I could control myself, I would go apologize. It was long overdue. Of course, I could not blame her if she did not forgive me, after what I had done. And, what I had just done, which was probably just a reminder for her, of how much better off she would be with someone else. If she was not already with someone else. As much as I hated that it could be, I equally hoped it were true. She should be with someone worthy, not someone damned.

I tried to not think of Bella as I approached our new house (when had I driven here?), for she wreaked havoc on my emotions, and that would tip Jasper off, and he would alert Alice, who had been weird since after-school the other day… which would have been when she would have first met '_Ms. Swan'. _Perhaps that was the big secret that Alice wouldn't share. I would find out.

After parking the car, I quietly made my way to Alice's room, and knocked. I refrained from laughing when I heard something crash to the floor, and her muttered curse. I opened the door, and saw her on the floor, gathering the contents of her make-up case. I couldn't help but smile when she glared at me.

"So you think this is funny?" She nearly growled at me. I nodded, but bent to help her pick up her make-up. We did this in silence for a few moments, until it was all back in her case. I straightened, and waited for her to put it away in her closet. I sat on the bed, and she joined me.

_Well, Edward. Did you come for a reason? Or just to laugh at me? _Alice teased me in her mind.

"How long?" I asked quietly.

She looked at me, her face showing her confused thoughts.

"How long have you known Bella was here?" She sat up straight, and looked me square in the eyes.

"How did you know that she is here? Who told you?"

_If he found out through me, Bella would be so mad! I promised her!_

"Relax," I touched her arm to calm her. "I saw her, she was walking a dog."

I shook my head, thinking about it. She had looked so different, but so much the same. Her eyes had been blue in the classroom. They must have been colored contacts, and her hair… her beautiful brown hair was now a reddish blonde, but I could see the brown roots.

"Why…" I murmured more to myself than to Alice. "Why did she change herself so much?" She heard me, and shook her head sadly.

"All in time, Edward. There are some things that you should only hear from her."

I nodded numbly, the reality of it hitting me fully, and goodness was I scared!

**Would you look at that! I updated twice in the same month! Round of applause for me I'm really nervous about this chapter… I don't know if I got Edward's thoughts right. : ( Oh well. If anyone has any questions or comments, you know how to reach me!**


	16. Chapter 16

**BPOV**

Somehow, I made it through the rest of the night. I ate my dinner (some left over Chinese), and fed Snickers (also some left over Chinese), and managed to not completely go comatose, but I was losing some of myself to the darkness. After dinner, I sat on the edge of my bed, and took out the cream my doctor had said would make the scars go away.

As I sat, rubbing the minty-smelling cream that healed my scars into my arms, I suddenly realized with startling clarity, that cleared away the darkness and fuzziness surrounding my brain; he was going to take them away from me again, wasn't he? After ten years, I had finally found them again, well, at least Esme and Alice, and he was going to make them leave me again. I should have been filled with burning anger at him, but I was only filled with an intense longing for the life I could have had. One that included Edward, and my dream family...

There was a knock, and I walked mechanically to the door, still rubbing the healing cream into my arms. The door opened to reveal Edward, and I had trouble breathing. He was staring down at his feet, but I guess he heard me open the door, because he started talking.

"Bella, I just came by to tell you how sorry I am about earlier, when I took off like that. Actually, I think maybe I should apologize for..." he took a breath, and wrinkled his nose. "What smells like mint?" He glanced up at me, his eyes meeting mine (which is when I pretty much just stopped breathing altogether) and traveled down to my arms, searching. They stopped on the cream, and then shot to the marks on my arms, which I hastily tried to conceal.

When he grabbed my wrist, I nearly jumped in surprise, not because it happened so fast that I didn't even see his hand, but from the electrical current stemming from where his cool hand was now wrapped around my wrist.

I knew that attempting to remove my hand from his grasp would be useless, so I just shifted in discomfort while he stared, in what appeared to be disbelief, at the scars on the underside of my arm.

"Bella..." his eyes were wide. "Bella, how did this happen?" His voice was filled with suppressed emotion, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Thankfully, he couldn't tell what I was thinking either. I gulped.

"Well, it's a long story..." I said, drifting off, and praying he didn't ask for the story. Well, why should he? He probably didn't even care about them, or me. Alice or Esme probably made him come here to apologize. That is, if he told them what he did. I was surprised they hadn't started packing. Unless this was like last time, and he was just coming to say goodbye, and kill a little more of me...

Edward groaned. "Bella, I think-" he started to come in, but then he stopped himself. "May I come in?" he asked, his tone imploring.

As much as my brain was protesting, yelling at me to not let him inside, to slam the door right in his beautiful marble face, I stepped aside and he entered somewhat cautiously, looking around my apartment, from the kitchen to the living room.

Finally, his gaze landed on me again, and he loosened his grip on my wrist. He turned around to close the door behind him, and looked at me once again, his gaze very serious.

"I think we should talk."

**And there you have it. Chapter 16, all shiny new! Yay! So I didn't get to post a third chapter in February, I hope that this chapter makes up for the like, month and a half gap between updates. My bad! Oh well. I finally got this finished because: I am on spring break baby!! Woot woot! My apologies to people (sorry Andie!!) that are not on spring break with me! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	17. Chapter 17

**EPoV**

I was hit by a wave of panic when I saw the marks on her inner arms. She couldn't have done that to herself, because of me, could she? Oh God, I can't believe that I did this to her! Alice had told me that there were things I needed Bella to tell me, but I never could have anticipated this! How could I have pushed her to this?

Bella led us into her living room, and she sat in a chair, and I stood in front of her.

"Bella," I said, trying to keep my voice soft. "Tell me what happened to you. Please."

She seemed a little stunned for a moment, but then shook her head adamantly. "You first," she demanded. "Why are you here?"

I sat down in front of her, silently begging her to look at me, but she avoided my gaze.

"Because I love you."

She looked at me sharply, surprise written all over her face, evident especially in her beautiful brown eyes, where tears began to pool.

"I don't believe you," she whispered, looking down to her lap. More than anything, I wished that she trusted me.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice strained.

"Because you didn't mean it any of the other times you said it!"

"I meant it every single time I said it! I loved you, I still love you! I never stopped loving you," She shook her head, her lips firmly pressed together.

"How is it that the one time I lie to you, you can believe it, but you can't believe the thing I have told you thousands of times before?" I was desperate. She had to believe me! I loved her so much, how could she not know that? What could I possibly do to make her understand how I felt?

Bella shook her head, glancing up at me from under her dark lashes.

"You- you can't know how hard it was for me to believe you 10 years ago, when you first told me you loved me. It just didn't make sense. How could someone as perfect as you fall for someone like me, who is just completely incomparable to you? It just never made sense…"

"Bella…." I got up and started pacing in front of her. "That is just- that is absurd! The mere thought that I could not love you!" I knelt abruptly and took her face in my hands, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

"You are so beautiful," I murmured. "So beautiful, and kind, and patient, and I love you Bella! Please, don't ever think anything else. You know what I thought about all 3 years I was off on my own? You. I saw your face in my mind, I heard your voice, and I remembered why I left. I wanted you to be safe, I… I didn't want you to have to constantly live endangered…"

Bella had been avoiding my gaze the entire time I talked to her, but now she looked me straight in the eye as she said, "Don't you think it should have been my choice?"

There was a pregnant pause where she looked back down into her lap, and I struggled to find the words to tell her how much I loved her, and how I needed to protect her, and know she was safe. If she were ever to get hurt because of me, I don't know what I would do!

"Of course, you know," she mumbled down to her hands. I, of course, could hear her perfectly. "It is different if you don't want to be with me at all. I wouldn't want you to have to suffer my company for eternity."

"Oh Bella," I let out an exasperated sigh. I placed a finger under her chin, and delicately lifted her head, looking straight into her eyes. "Being with you for eternity would be the sweetest heaven."

She looked at me, her eyes searching mine. "Is this real? Am I dreaming?"

I shook my head, and watched as she took a deep shuddering breath and lifted one hand to my face, tracing her fingers around my nose, mouth, eyes.

"No," she whispered. "You're not a dream… but this can't be real."

I gently pressed my lips to hers, and when she offered no resistance, I deepened the kiss. After a moment, I reluctantly pulled away; she was testing my control, and it seemed to have weakened in our years apart. I heard her pulse, which had increased and was now a pounding rather fast, just like it used to. God, I had missed her so.

"Then this, you… it's real?" She asked hesitantly. I nodded, and she let out a breath. "Did you mean that? What you said before?"

"Every single word." I nodded solemnly.

"Then what now?"

**Hey guys! I'm really sorry about the ending, I just didn't know how else to end it**.


	18. Chapter 18

_Previous Chapter: "Then this, you… it's real?" She asked hesitantly. I nodded, and she let out a breath. "Did you mean that? What you said before?"_

"_Every single word." I nodded solemnly._

"_Then what now?"_

**BPoV**

Edward pulled away from me, and sat down heavily on the couch. He steepled his fingers together, and looked intently at me with his clear topaz eyes, and for a moment I was caught. Caught like used to get caught in his golden gaze, only now I was still wondering if this was real. I felt almost like I had been transported back to Forks, ten years past. The feeling was intensified by the frustrated look on his face.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said softly. I shook my head, smiling slightly. At least I still had that working for me.

"Talk to me," Edward pleaded, leaning against the arm of the couch, but not coming closer. "Tell me what happened." I frowned. It was difficult enough to explain to Alice, but to Edward? The catalyst himself? Besides the fact that I would just be describing to him exactly how much power he had over me, and that really didn't make him happy in the past.

So, instead of answering the question, I just stared at him staring at me. Before the idea of him reappearing in my life was an actual possibility, I figured that whenever I imagined him, I was idealizing just how perfect he looked, with his light topaz eyes, signifying that he just went hunting, to the long, white fingers. I hadn't idealized him at all. In fact, I may have made him look worse than he did now. He was staring at me, unwaveringly and intensely. I couldn't look into his eyes for fear of drowning, so I lowered my gaze to his arms, his hands, his fingers.

"Do you still play piano?" I asked suddenly, unable to take the silence, and genuinely wondering if he still made beautiful music.

Edward looked a bit confused at my seemingly random question, and shrugged. "Not as much, I suppose. I missed you, playing reminded me of you."

I blinked back a surge of tears. It was still hard to grasp. Someone as perfect as Edward shouldn't be thinking about me the way he claimed to.

"It just seems…" I hesitated. "…impossible that flawed little me could capture your attention, and hold it for a while. You've lived, well, been around for so many years. How could the short time we had together make an impact on you?" My voice wavered, and I flushed as he stared at me in silence.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed heavily. "You don't get it, do you? I cannot explain to you what you do to me. I'm not happy without you. That short while we were together, that was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Every day after we left was torture for me, because I knew that I had you, and was happy, and I gave that up."

Edward reached out slowly, hesitated, but gently gripped my hand. I closed my eyes, and for a moment, I could almost believe I was still seventeen. But I wasn't. I was 27. Not to mention that I was Edward's teacher. How could this work? I opened my mouth to tell Edward my fears. I flinched when I opened my eyes and found him right in front of me. He pressed a cool finger to my lips to keep me quiet.

"Someone is standing outside your door. I will be back later, I promise." He looked at me for another moment, and then he was gone. Like he was never there, the only sign that he was there was my increased pulse. I sighed, and rose slowly when someone knocked at the door.

**Hi guys. I am so sorry that after such a wait, this is all you get! SO SO sorry about the updating this chapter like 3 times! I kept seeing typos! =)**


	19. Chapter 19

BPOV

I swung the door open to reveal Matthew Kaplin.

"Matthew?" Oh man, I was so confused! I wasn't even aware that Matt knew where I lived, let alone that he would be coming over. "What are you doing here?"

He grinned nervously. "I was worried about you! You didn't sound yourself on the phone, and I just wanted to come over to check on you. Can I come in? Thanks!" I moved back automatically and he walked into the kitchen, shaking off his coat. He was so sweet I almost couldn't be angry at his persistence. Almost.

"Oh! I asked the secretary for your address, I hope you don't mind!" He smiled widely, and winked. "She was a little surprised that I had to ask her." Inwardly, I groaned, but I managed a weak smile.

We were quiet as Matt looked around my kitchen, still wearing a silly grin.

"So, how _are_ you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm fine, Matt, really!" I insisted. "I just needed a day off from work."

"Good! So, if you're not feeling sick, some friends and I were going to go a little festival a few towns over this weekend, and I was thinking, maybe… you'd like to go with me?" He looked so hopeful that I just couldn't bear to say no.

"That sounds…. like a lot of fun, Matt! I'll have to double check to see if I'm free, but I'll get back to you." Maybe I could make up an excuse.

"Great! That's great! We'll be going on Saturday, about 12." He peered concernedly at me. "You aren't looking so good! Maybe you should go back to bed and rest for a while. I wouldn't want you to be feeling bad for our date on Saturday! I'll just see myself out."

At least he was going in a good mood, even if it was a misconception. "Thanks for stopping by, Matt. I'll see you at school."

I waited until he had closed the door behind him to lock it, and I walked back into the living room. I wasn't surprised to find Edward standing by the window. He smiled softly at me, making my heart race.

"So, who was your visitor?" He asked curiously. He walked across the room slowly, minimizing the distance between us.

"Just another teacher from the school. He was worried about me," I replied, wondering whether any of the Cullens/Hales had Matt as a teacher.

"That's the only reason he came? That was nice of him." Edward was still curious about Matt's impromptu visit.

"Well, he also asked me to go with him and some friends to a carnival this Saturday, but I don't think I'm going to go."

"Did he?" Edward looked thoughtfully towards the kitchen, his face otherwise impassive. "You should go. Mingle with other humans, it's safer."

"Oh Edward," I sighed, frustrated. "Haven't we been through this before? I thought we just agreed that I was perfectly safe with you!"

He shook his head emphatically. "I said I could not live without you, but that does not make you any safer than before. I will never be able to complete control my urges. Bella…"

"No! No, no, no," I backed slowly away from him, falling into a chair. He winced as I fell, but made no move towards me.

Oh God. He was going to do it again, wasn't he? He was going to leave me! This could have been worse than when he left before! We'd had so little time together, yet he couldn't bear to stay with me any longer!

"You're going to leave me again? Well, if you are, please just go. I don't want to hear any explanations this time!" I hugged my knees to my chest, burying my face into my legs.

My apartment was quiet for several minutes, and when I chanced a glance up, he was still just standing there, looking at me. He stayed like that for several more moments, before moving close to me. He crouched down in front of the chair, and clasped my hands in his.

"I will never leave you, Bella." His voice rang with sincerity, and raw emotion. "It killed me to leave you ten years ago, and it would tear me apart if I even tried to go now. I'm simply too selfish, Bella. I can't let you go."

**WOW guys, I can't even apologize enough for the delay in updating! School was crazy busy, and you know how time flies! Can you believe I started this story more than TWO YEARS ago! Well, all I can say is thank you so so so so much to my readers for sticking with me, even when I haven't been that dependable for chapter updates!! As always, reviews are welcome and appreciated!**

**PS. Was anyone really surprised that it was Matt?**

**PPS. Everyone should definitely check out Regina Spektor's new album, Far!**


End file.
